Chapter Three: Sword Fighting and Ballroom Dancing

"Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads."
-Erica Jong
"Cos, I can’t dance, I can’t talk.
Only thing about me is the way I walk."
-Genesis, "I Can't Dance", We Can't Dance

One day, Clarissa visited Jake's apartment. When he answered the door, she saw him wearing black pants and a black shirt. In addition to the black clothing, Jake wore thick, heavy padding. He was also carrying a bamboo sword in one hand and a helmet in the other hand.
Clarissa asked him with shock, "What are you wearing?"
Jake replied, "I'm wearing a kendo outfit. Kendo is a form of traditional Japanese sword fighting."
Clarissa raised her eyebrows. "Kendo? You do sword fighting for fun?"
Jake's eyes gleamed with excitement. He answered, "Sure. I also do kenjutsu. That's another form of Japanese sword fighting. What do you do for fun?"
"Not sword fighting. I like ballroom dancing."
"Ah, I see. It appears as if there are some things we don't know about each other. I have an idea. I visit one of your ballroom dancing classes and you visit one of my kenjutsu classes."
Clarissa thought about this proposal for a moment. She felt some trepidation about this proposal. She knew little if nothing about actual sword fighting, let alone Japanese sword fighting. Her idea of sword fighting was the entertainment you saw at Renaissance Festivals or in movies like Robin Hood. Despite attending Davis University as an undergraduate and currently as a law school student, there were many things she was ignorant of. It would be a new experience. Besides, she wanted to see Jake dance. Clarissa decided to go along with his proposal. After checking their calendars, they planned when they would visit each others classes. She would visit his kenjutsu class in three weeks. Interestingly enough, her ballroom dancing class was two hours after his kenjutsu class.

Jake drove Clarissa to his kenjutsu class. After exiting the car and saying hello to the receptionist, he led Clarissa to the practice room. He wasn't sure if Clarissa actually wanted to be there. If she honestly didn't want to be there and she felt obliged to stay, he would feel bad. Jake wouldn't get angry if she told him that she didn't want to go to his kenjutsu class. It was her honest opinion and he would accept that. In fact, he would gladly accommodate her in any way to make her happy. Well, there were some limits. In all honesty, Jake normally wouldn't be as accomodating with anyone else. Being in a relationship brings about changes in a person, some of them for the better and some, well, not so well. At this moment, Jake thought his changes were for the better.
Jake asked doubtfully, "Are you sure you want to visit my kenjutsu class? Honestly, if you don't want to be here, just tell me. I won't mind."
Clarissa said, "I really want to be here. Don't worry so much. Come on, let's go."
Jake opened the wood doors and they both walked across the polished wood floor towards the kenjutsu master, Seiji Kazumoto. Jake deeply bowed and said some things in English. Jake explained that his visitor's name was Clarissa Westwood. She was his friend and she wanted to see what happened in kenjutsu class. He rapidly asked in Japanese if they could do a demonstration for her benefit. Maybe something a little exciting. Sensei Kazumoto agreed. Jake bowed again. Sensei Kazumoto bowed and extended his hand toward Clarissa.
Clarissa shook Kazumoto's hand. It was as hard as a block of concrete. She noted Jake's hand wasn't as hard as Kazumotoi's hand, but it was close. The man smiled. He said in stilted English, "My name is Sensei Kazumoto. I welcome you to kenjutsu class."
"Thank you. My name is Clarissa. What's going to happen right now?"
Sensei Kazumoto smiled cryptically and said, "We will have a demonstration." He picked a wooden sword and handed it to Jake. Jake bowed and started the first part of the demonstration.
Jake spread his feet about shoulder-width apart, his knees slightly bent, with two hands firmly gripping the hilt of his wooden sword. He said, 'This wooden sword is a bokken. It is the traditional practice sword of kenjutsu. Despite it's appearance, one can seriously hurt a person with this weapon. There are five attitudes in kenjutsu: upper, lower, middle, right, and left. The first three are decisive attitudes when you want to attack. The left and right attitudes are fluid. You use them when your movement is obstructed. To be successful, you must adapt without hesitation, without thinking for the briefest moment. Your movements must be like the ocean, one fluid motion from beginning to end."
Using his bokken, Jake demonstrated the different attitudes and explained how to use them in an actual sword fight. He repeated his actions several times. Jake noted that Clarissa had a hard time understanding what he was doing and he was losing her attention. He nodded in Kazumoto's direction. Sensei Kazumoto discretely picked up a bokken.
Jake stopped his lecture and Kazumoto said, "I see that Clarissa is not fully understanding you lecture. Maybe you should try something different."
Clarissa saw Kazumoto go into the opening position and she saw the bokken in his hand. She also saw Jake go into the opening position as well. She had a good idea of what "something different" meant. They bowed to each other and in an instant, they were deep into an intense sword fight.
The clash of the battle filled the room. Their movements were quick; their swords were blurs. Clarissa stared and tried her best to distinguish one movement from the next, but it was impossible to do. An outside viewer would have thought Jake and the kenjutsu master were waving giant fans and not involved in a sword fight. She now understood what Jake meant by the movement of the ocean.
There was a ferocious clatter as Jake landed a stong blow against Kazumoto's sword. Both opponents jumped apart and swung at the same time. Jake's sword rushed at Kazumoto's abdomen and Kazumoto's sword rushed at the top of Jake's head. Clarissa cringed at the thought of what would happen. A millisecond before their swords hit their targets, they stopped in mid flight. Jake and Kazumoto put their swords down, stepped back a few steps, and bowed deeply. Despite the intense amount of energy they expended in their fight, they did not appear to be breathing hard.
"And that is kenjutsu," said Jake. "It's quite simple."
Clarissa stared at him. She was too stunned to say anything.
**********
After kenjutsu practice, Jake packed his kejustsu uniform, showered, shaved and put on a suit. He loathed wearing suits. He tried to avoid wearing suits whenever possible. During high school, his Scholars' Bowl coach required team members to go formal when they attended weekend tournaments. This meant suits, replete with ties and jackets, plus shiny shoes. Even on school day tournaments, those on Fridays, he required them to wear slacks and preferrably collared shirts. His coach was a stickler on formality. Jake didn't mind during high school, but later in life, he began to see wearing suits as ridiculous formality, despite people telling him he looked handsome wearing one. Now, during law school, he avoided wearing suits, unless it was absolutely required like during Traffic Court or it was an extraordinary circumstance. Jake generally avoided On Campus Interviews, as that required wearing a suit during the school day and the law school had notoriously bad temperature control. People wearing suits generally got hot and itchy.
Jake wondered why he was putting on a suit. After a moment of thinking, he remembered why. Clarissa expressly told him, in no uncertain terms, to wear a suit, as it was for her ballroom dancing class. She also added in one of those smiles that made him weak in the knees. One could dance in a nice pair of slacks and a dress shirt and still look nice, but that wasn't enough. Jake then realized he was doing this because it would make Clarissa happy. Because of this, he was willing to put on a suit, just for her. He guessed it was an extraordinary circumstance or maybe Clarissa was an extraordinary woman.
Jake attempted to make the traditional half-Windsor knot, making sure it was the proper length and not too fat or too thin a knot. He fumbled while making it and he cursed his clumsy fingers. Jake could spin and whirl gracefully while engaged in a sword fight, but he couldn't make a half-Windsor knot correctly. The knot was too thick and it was crooked. Jake undid the knot and carefully redid it. After making sure his white dress shirt was carefully tucked in and not hanging out and his collar was flat against his neck, Jake put on the jacket.
He looked in the mirror and he didn't recognize the person he saw. He looked different; gone was the familiar image of him in khakis and polo shirts with the collar down and not up, which he thought looked stupid. After a moment of reflection, he decided that he should start wearing suits more often. Or at least be more dressed up. Jake put on a pair of meticulously shined shoes, picked up his duffel bag, and walked to the practice room.
Jake entered the practice room and was stunned by what he saw. It was Clarissa in a dress. It's not like he hasn't seen a female in a dress before. Jake has seen many women in dresses before; some were wearing even less, but that was a different story. He has seen her in a dress before; that was two weeks ago. After some thought and some analysis of commonly accepted definitions, he hasn't seen her in an actual dress. It was more of a long, flowing skirt in royal blue combined with a light blue shirt. Most of the times he has seen her, Clarissa was wearing suits for interviews or the commonly accepted law school clothing of jeans and T-shirt. He had seen her wearing shorts and he was quite taken by her legs. They were long and nicely tanned. He could look at her legs all day. He could look at any part of Clarissa's body all day, if not longer. Jake didn't expect her to literally take his breath away. Maybe he did expect this, but he isn't totally aware. Seeing an attractive female can mess up thinking processes and take the mind away from basic tasks like breathing.
He approves of the dress that Clarissa is wearing. Thanks to watching PBS on a regular basis, he has seen ballroom dancing competitions and some of the dresses that the female dancers wore were amazingly frilly like an overload of flamingo pink ruffles or amazingly scanty. In some cases, one could get more coverage from a sheet of postage stamps, a 3 by 5 note card, and several feet of yarn. Thankfully, Clarissa hasn't gone for either ballroom dancing contest look. She hasn't gone down the prom dress route either. She is wearing a form-fitting black number, the quintessential, slightly below knee-length, little black dress that women have in their closet. It looks very good on her. Clarissa has a gleam in her green eyes. He believes he has done the right thing by wearing a suit and by going to her ballroom dancing class. With gut instinct, one has to wait to tell if it is correct or not. This relationship could be the proverbial train wreck.
Being the sci-fi and fantasy geek, Jake was a Lord of the Rings fan. He wasn't one of the rabid fanatics who shaped their entire life around the book and who actually dressed up like characters in the epic novel. He could actually hold a rational, intelligent conversation about many topics. Jake was afraid he would imagine Clarissa as Galadriel, just like the scene in Galadriel's garden. Clarissa would magically radiate light and become beautiful beyond compare, a level of beauty that is terrifying and awe-inspiring. If that ever occurred, it would have the same effect on Jake as a couple sharp blows to the back of his skull with a Louisville Slugger swung by a steroids-fueled major league baseball player.
After a moment of awkward silence, Jake finally managed to say something. It took a supreme amount of effort for him to accomplish this simple task as his mind was in a haze.
"Wow. You look stunning in that dress. You should wear them more often. Especially that dress."
"You look dashing in a suit. And you should wear them more often."
"Um...are you ready to go?"
"Yeah. Let's go."
**********
Jake asked Clarissa if she wanted to hear some music on his car's CD player. He showed her what CDs had had available at the moment (Beethoven, The Phantom of the Opera, Coldplay, and Sinatra) and she chose the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. This was the movie soundtrack version and not the original Broadway one with Michael Crawford. Jake had some fondness for Broadway musicals. He liked Rent and The Producers. In his opinion, Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals were fine, but in limited doses and only certain musicals. Evita was fine. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Coat was kitsch, but tolerable. Cats, although popular, was overly sentimental. Starlight Express, now that was a lousy musical in his opinion. Apparently, Clarissa loved The Phantom of the Opera. During the forty-minute drive to her ballroom dancing class, they listened to the music.
While they paused at a red light, Clarissa turned off the CD player and said, "Your kenjutsu class. You seemed to change into a different person so suddenly. Where did that person come from?"
Jake shrugged his shoulders. He expected this question. Not too many people saw him operate in this mode. When they did see him in this mode, they were generally shocked. People always thought of him as a normally calm and quiet person. Elizabeth called him "Land Mine," as the explosive personality was buried and when it was triggered, it violently erupted. Some people discovered this the hard and painful way.
"It's always been there," Jake said. "You just don't see it that often. I keep it under control. It only come out when it's necessary."
"Necessary? What do you mean by that?"
"For example, during kenjutsu class or in a contest. It has to be an automatic response or you lose."
"OK...I think I understand that. Any other situations that you deem necessary?"
"Self-defense and the usual stuff. I hate to admit it, but I've used it when it really wasn't necessary."
"Really?" Clarissa looked at him with some interest. "You losing control? I find that hard to believe."
"Believe it. I can lose control." The light turned green. "You don't want to be at the receiving end."
"I've seen what you can do." She shuddered. Clarissa was still in shock over Jake's performance. "Will you lose control around me?"
"Violence, never. I couldn't hurt you." He paused and grinned. "Love, always. With reckless abandon. I can't control myself in that respect."
"That's something I'd like to see." She wondered what Jake was capable of when it came to reckless abandon with love. "What would you do?"
"Anything is possible. Whatever I do, you'll be pleasantly surprised." He pulled into the parking lot. "Let's leave it at that for now."
"I'll be waiting for that moment."
**********
Jake and Clarissa arrived twenty minutes early. Clarissa and Jake knew several people there, as they attended Davis University Law School or were involved in Student Senate. For Clarissa, this meant socializing with the people in her ballroom dancing class. For Jake, this was something he could do without, as he found socializing and interacting with people a tiring experience. He was hoping they could get straight to the dancing part of the dancing class as soon as possible. It wasn't going to happen very soon. It was going to a very long twenty minutes, because Jake saw a girl from law school, a fellow 2L, heading straight towards him. This was not good.
It's a well recognized fact that you absolutely, positively, cannot keep a secret safe in law school. Sooner or later, it will get out and it will spread faster than mononucleosis in a crowded college dormitory. Like mononucleosis, it's highly contagious. You think it's safely contained in just one person, but by the next day, it's a full-fledged epidemic spread across the entire law school through every imaginable way. More often than not, like many contagious diseases, it was spread orally. The most common carrier and speader? Females. If one examined the long and complicated chain of infection, the original human "case zero"--the first link of the chain of infection in epidemiology terms--was a female, most likely a law school student.
This may seem like an unfair stereotype of females, but based upon actual observation, this is a perfectly acceptable conclusion. Even females acknowledge this conclusion as a valid fact. If you want to know who is dating whom, who is having an affair with the hot guy or girl in a particular class, what a certain professor is doing or whom he or she is doing, you ask a female. Even knowledge of the particular going-ons of faculty members trickled down into the ears of an astute female and was rapidly spread through the law school gossip network. Most men, particularly those of a more rational mindset, do not care for such details about other people, unless they were involved in some way. Women, on the other hand, will voraciously devour everything and if asked, will recall every minor detail perfectly, as if they stored everything on a mental hard drive.
The best know story of the power of the law school rumor mill involved the soap opera-esque law school love triangle involving three faculty members. Person A, a married professor was having an affair with Person B, who was an attractive and single female professor. While this relationship was going on, B was involved with Person C, a popular male professor. Somehow, an unknown female found out about this and the sordid details were spread around the law school. The entire story was published in the unofficial newsletter of Davis Law School. Several local newspapers picked up the story. In the end, Person A divorced and married Person B. Person C "found an employment opportunity" at a well-known law school and promptly left Davis Law School. Given how fast the story spread and how fast someone found out, it was assumed nothing was safe. Someone at the law school will find out sooner or later, which makes law school students ideal for jobs in gossip columns, private investigation firms, industrial espionage, or anything involving information gathering.
Jake braced himself for impact by the veritable information-seeking missile called Jessica Perez. If she didn't get a job as a lawyer, she would have been a Hispanic Barbara Walters without the really annoying questions and possessing a lot more beauty points. Imagine a female who looked like Eva Longoria, had the probing mind of a veteran police interrogator who could get a confession from anyone, and exuded more charm and hospitality than ten Southern belles. This made for a very potent and dangerous combination. No one was immune. Inevitably, one will spill out the deepest secrets buried under hardened mental bunkers.
Jessica waved and smiled her most charming smile at him. The traditional gambit. "Jake! I never expected to see you here."
"Oh, hi Jessica. I never expected to find myself here." Safe, honest, and meaningless banter. Jake wasn't known for having much of a social life. In law school, the phrase "social life" generally means going out to bars, clubs, and parties where one inevitably got drunk. Law school students also did other things, but they rarely talked about such details on Monday morning during class. He had the social life comparable to the Mormon students at Davis Law, as Mormons are not known for their wild and crazy lifestyle filled with alcoholic excess.
"You also came here with Clarissa. I didn't expect that."
Jake didn't believe her. By the tone of Jessica's voice, one would assume she was genuinely surprised. Her body language, however, told the opposite. Jessica knew more than what she was letting on. Jake decided to see if his gut instinct was correct.
"She asked if I wanted to come to this class and I said yes." He paused for a brief moment. "Purely spontaneous. I don't know why she asked me."
While he said this, Jake saw a brief smile come on Jessica's face. She was trying very hard not to betray any discernible emotion. It wasn't working. Jake was confident she knew. He just had to make sure. He would feign denial and act as if there was nothing between him and Clarissa. They were just good friends. This would irritate Jessica enough to get her to lose her composure. When she was angry, she would tell the truth.
"Let's be honest. People, and I mean those in law school in particular, will come up with the craziest stories. Most of what you hear, if not all of what you hear, is false. They're just wild rumors. You really shouldn't assume anything from this incident. After all, Clarissa and I are just friends. Nothing more than that."
"Come on, Jake. Everyone knows that you like her and that she likes you. It was and it still is obvious. Personally, I think you two make for a nice couple."
Jake was having fun, but it was getting close to the start of the dance class. He might as well "admit" defeat. Jake faked a sigh and said, "You're right. We are going out. How did you find out?"
Jessica laughed. "I knew it! How I found out? That's a secret."
"Let me guess. You heard it from someone who heard it from someone who heard it from Elle or Clarissa. Right?"
"Correct. How did you know it was Elle?"
"The same way I know you and David are a hot item. Remember? It's a secret."
Jake laughed and turned around. He decided to find Clarissa in the crowd.
**********
Ballroom dancing class was uneventful. No one got injured. No one needed crutches at the end of dance class. Considering Jake’s propensity for clumsiness and his lack of natural rhythm, not injuring himself, Clarissa, and those nearby is a major miracle. One may find this hard to believe, given his performance with a wooden sword and the skill and grace he moved while wielding it. Given the following explanation, the apparent paradox is neatly resolved. Jake has practiced kendo and kenjutsu for about ten years. Wielding a sword has become second nature to him; how he should move, where he should move is instinctual. He doesn't have to think "Move your sword to the right and parry." His body naturally reacts to the situation before his mind tells him what to do. Dancing in its various forms is a brand new experience for Jake. He hasn't practiced dancing. He must train and practice each step rigorously until it becomes second nature. Until then, he will move like a person lacking fine motor skills. His sense of aesthetics with respect to style and grace will be on strike. In other words, he will be a potential liability on the dance floor. This is a situation he wants to avoid at all costs.
Jake would like to have a long-term relationship with Clarissa at this moment. It would be unfortunate if it crashed and burned due to his clumsiness. To remedy his natural lack of grace, Jake decided to rent three instructional tapes on ballroom dancing. After watching the videos numerous times, rewinding and replaying sections over and over again, he decided that practice alone would not reinforce his woeful dancing skills. He would have to adapt the current unknown problem (ballroom dancing) to a problem he has solved before. Jake noticed that if he focused solely on the dancers' feet, he saw that the footwork involved in dancing bore a close resemblance to the footwork involved in sword fighting. Using some very rough and possibly flawed reasoning, Jake came to a hopeful conclusion. If he thought of ballroom dancing as modified sword fighting, he could get through dance class without seriously injuring anyone. This would preclude doing the beginner's shuffle, the highly ungraceful and clumsy step that looks ugly, but has a low risk of injuring another person's toes and ankles.
When the time comes to actually put his crazy rationalization plan into practice, Jake is feeling somewhat confident in knowing he might save himself from complete embarassment. Just one problem he failed to recognize and failed to come up with a viable solution: how to maintain close body contact with Clarissa without his face burning. Shaking hands, no problem. Putting one hand on her shoulder and one hand on her waist, big problem. He knows he should feel more comfortable, but it proves to be distracting at first. She definitely is not a sword carved from hard wood like oak. He decided to calm himself down by meditating. Apparently, he was chanting loud enough that Clarissa could hear him.
"What are you doing? Is this your idea of whispering romantic thoughts into my ear?"
"Sorry. I was trying to calm myself down."
"Why? You seem to be dancing surprisingly well for a first-timer."
Jake looked away as his face flushed and turned red. "It's kinda embarassing. I'd rather not say."
Clarissa lightly touched his cheek and turned his face back. She looked directly into his eyes. "Please tell me. I'll try not to laugh."
"Um...well...it's hard to explain." He paused to gather his thoughts. "Um...I figured out how to equate dancing with sword fighting. I just forgot to come up with a solution on how to dance with a female without my face turning red. All that physical contact. Silly, huh?"
"It is." Clarissa stifled a giggle. "How do you feel right now?"
"Much better. I think I feel comfortable enough to hold you in my arms all day."
"You've become romantic. Or has that always been there?"
"I think it's been there all along. I just found the right person."
They were silent, communicating through their silence, focusing only on dancing. The entire world shrunk until it only encompassed them alone. They danced, ignoring everything and everyone and they continued dancing until the instructor turned off the music and told them class was over.